Things I Hate About Summer...

To be honest, it's hard not to enjoy warm and sunny weather. However, it has brought the first indications of the misery that a fine summer brings to those of us unfortunte enough to have to enjoy "summer in the city".

1) The "Open Window" Orchestra - as soon as the weather gets warm, we get home and car windows thrown open to the world and regrettably that usually means horrible bass-loaded rap music, often in languages other than English, blaring into the atmosphere. It's strange that individuals who like to throw the word "respect" around seem to have a lot of difficulty comprehending it.

2) Hayfever Hell - thanks to the cold winter of 2009-10, it wasn't too bad a hayfever season for me last year but this year I've not been so lucky. My allergy isn't so much to pollen but as to pollen mixed with pollution but as pollution is now prevalent everywhere, there's very little escape.

3) Motor Vehicle Mayhem - As soon as it gets warm, out come the motor bikes and quad bikes and any bit of spare ground or footpath becomes a racetrack for these cretins who have no conception of the noise they produce or the misery they create for others who would simply like to enjoy the warm weather in peace and quiet.

4) Clothing Atrocities - it's bad enough men thinking showing their Calvin Klein underwear is the height of fashion but once summer comes, both men and women think bare flesh is de rigeur. Most people shouldn't wear shorts and especially short shorts. In many instances, it's either like looking at last week's chicken or something worse - the advice to cover up shouldn't just be to protect against sunburn.

5) Sporting Patriotism - for 50 weeks of the year, we ignore tennis. Along comes Wimbledon and everyone's an expert. Once it was "Tiger" Tim Henman, now it's Andy Murray who is British when he wins and Scottish when he loses. It's not quite as bad as following English football at tournaments like the World Cup or European Championships but in the summer our objectivity goes out of the window, we become gormless patriots and forget how lucky we are to having sporting legends such as Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer gracing our shores.

Fortunately, it looks as though it will be more unsettled and cooler next week so summer will be postponed for a little while yet with any luck.